Don't Take Your Story Too Seriously

While working on getting my certification as a creativity coach, I’ve been reading The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander & Benjamin Zander. In a chapter based around the idea of not taking yourself too seriously, an anecdote is shared that had this sentence: “She stopped taking herself and her story so seriously…” The inclusion of “story” stood out to me. I have heard many times not to take myself too seriously. But reading about not taking one’s story too seriously hit me in a more nuanced way.

First off, this is not to say that you should dismiss your story, whether it be your life story or the stories inside you bursting to be expressed. What I took from this phrase has more to do with the stories we tell ourselves that stop us from taking risks, going on adventures, chasing after the things we desire. Stories like “I’m too old,” or “I don’t have enough training,” or “I’m just not like that,” or “I’ve been too hurt by my past.” Each of these stories might hold truth, and there is something to accepting some of these realities. But each of these truths can then be weaponized against ourselves and our dreams. We can start to limit ourselves, turn down offers, delay getting started, because of the story we tell ourselves about any given situation.

But what if we realized that these stories are just that? Stories. And specifically, stories that we are telling ourselves. What if there was a different way to narrate that story? What if there is more to the story? “I’m too old” can become “I have experience that is an advantage over younger folks.” “I don’t have enough training” can become “I’m going to sign up for a class today!” “I’m just not like that” can become “My identity is plastic, so maybe there’s room for me to change here.” “I’ve been too hurt by my past” can become “And I can take a first step to healing, however small.”

Moving forward, I want to be mindful not just of the times when I’m taking myself too seriously, but also when I’m giving more credence to the stories I tell myself than they are due. Questioning my own stories could be the key I need to break free from stagnation and actually dare to push myself towards my desires and dream life.

Faking it till faking it no longer feels like faking it

You know how they say “Fake it till you make it?” I feel like I’ve been operating under that notion for the bulk of my playwriting career. But recently, I’ve started to actually feel like I’m making it, not because I’m faking it, but because I have the knowledge, skills, and grit to actually make it. It’s a very odd feeling. After years of using my best guesses, I’m actually starting to feel like I might know a thing or two about what I’m doing.

Someone recently said to me “You’re the expert!” and there was a tiny twinge inside me in response. No, I can’t be an expert in anything. I’m still figuring it out as I go. But maybe I have become quite practiced at the figuring out. I still don’t love the connotations of the word “expert,” mostly because of the expectations others might place on such a title. But if, if, I am an expert, it’s not because I have it all figured out, but because… I’ve gotten good at figuring things out as I go. With enough “faking it,” I’ve now gotten enough experience to know how to think through decisions and problems in my career. Decisions and problems that might be fresh and new for others.

Yes, an odd feeling. Oddly quiet. Oddly reassured. I’m not flailing about trying to make sense of everything. After all my flailing (and failing), many things have come together. And the things that still don’t make sense, I’ve learned to maneuver through and with. Of course, the “faking it” hasn’t ended. Each time you level up in a video game, there is more to learn about the skills or items you’ve acquired along the way. And I’ll still need the expertise of others. But this lifestyle of “fake it till you make it” has started to look more and more like… “this is how you make it.”

Where the Mountain Meets the Moon coming to South Coast Rep

Next month, Where the Mountain Meets the Moon: A Musical Adaptation will receive its third production – this time at South Coast Rep in Costa Mesa, CA. I’m so excited to see director Jennifer Chang’s vision for the piece come to life! If you’re in the SoCal area, be sure to get your tickets soon, as seats are starting to fill up!

Creativity Quotation #31

“Mistakes aren’t a necessary evil. They aren’t evil at all. They are an inevitable consequence of doing something new. And as such, should be seen as valuable. Without them, we’d have no originality.” - Ed Catmull, Creativity, Inc.

A NAMT Writers Residency Grant!

TheatreWorks Silicon Valley and I have received a NAMT Writers Residency Grant for my Untitled Asian-American Senior Sex Scandal Murder Mystery Musical! This was a piece that I began writing at the TheatreWorks Writers Retreat earlier this year. The Writers Residency Grant will go toward a reading and other resources to assist me with getting to a full first draft. This is the second time I’ve received this honor - the first being for The Four Immigrants.

I'm so thankful for this amazing support for my quirky idea of a musical. And nervous too, because it's still very much in its early development stages, and I have no idea where this project is taking me creatively. But isn’t that what makes being a writer so thrilling?