Learning to Research Smarter

I have completionist tendencies. Rather than stop when the enjoyment or meaning stops, I will carry on with a book or a video game or a TV series, because I feel compelled to finish it. I’m learning, however, that life is too short to be focusing on things that aren’t bringing me enjoyment. And the completionist tendency is tied somehow to guilt. I’ve associated not finishing with being lazy or wasteful, especially if I’ve spent money or a considerable amount of time on a thing already. I’m learning, though, that sometimes it’s actually wise to know when to stop doing something, and I have been able to more frequently say “I’m done” in the middle of things.

This completionist tendency has translated into my research as well. For my writing projects, I will often build a long list of media to research, and internally declare that I will consume each piece of media in its entirety. More often than not, I don’t get through all the media. Or even worse, I get stuck. I might get to the relevant stuff in a research book, and then realize I still have 100 pages left. Cue the guilt. Even though I can make a good guess that the remainder of the book will not be relevant to my project, I still feel bad that I’m not finishing it. Or I might ask for recommendations from others on what I could read, and then feel overwhelmed at the volume of texts and films I “need” to go through.

But, as I said, I’ve been learning. For Untitled, I did do a crowdsourced recommendation on research books, but then sifted through each one to determine whether it was actually appropriate for my purposes. And yesterday, I started reading a book, then got to a section that I realized was not relevant to my project and decided I would skip it. There is still a lingering guilt in the back of my mind. But I believe that’s the rational brain acting up in the face of letting intuition take the lead. Besides, the rational brain should also realize that there’s no way, no time, for me to go through every possible research material in its entirety. It should be happy that I’m trying to figure out a smarter way to research.

The Struggle of Open-Endedness

When I have a production, a workshop, even a meeting to look forward to, I usually find it very easy to focus and get work done. There is a built-in accountability to knowing that others are counting on me delivering something so that further development of a new work/play can begin. However, when I'm in between deadlines, it's a lot harder to find that fire and drive to get the creative wheels turning.

I find myself in such a phase right now. For Inside Out & Back Again, a play which has a definite deadline (it opens in March 2018), the script has been rewritten and brought to a place where the creative teams agrees it's ready for a workshop - which will begin this weekend. All of my other projects don't have deadlines yet. So while I could and should be working on them, it's easy to find myself within a fog of distraction.

To be fair, some of these projects need some time in this amorphous state where they exist primarily in my brain, and are worked and re-worked away from a laptop or notebook. Some of them require research and cogitation before I attempt to create something that even looks like a script. I try to remember this, so I don't feel discouraged by the fact that I might not be "producing" something. Still, structure is good for me. So, I remind myself that there are deadlines on the horizon, even though they may feel far away, or even if I don't see them yet. So, working backwards from those larger deadlines, I try to create mini-deadlines that will help me progress. I have also started to participate in a silent writing group, where I meet with fellow playwrights to stay quiet and just write (or read or research, as the need may be). I find these times to be helpful for focusing because it's harder for the fog of distraction to take hold when I'm out of the house and around others.

I share this because it's so easy to look at the big markers of playwriting and marvel at the world premieres, the workshops, the readings. But, being a playwright is as much about these days/weeks/months of open-endedness, from which they must forge and fashion a pattern and routine that works for themselves - much like the act of writing a play.

Re-Thinking My Work Day

This year, I made the decision to devote myself to playwriting (and composing) full-time. Unbeknownst to me at the time, what accompanied this decision was pressure. I told myself that if I'm going to work full-time, then I need to spend 8 hours a day working on my projects. I thought: "Everyone else is slaving away at least that amount of time working at their jobs, so I must do the same."

But the fact was, I never ended up writing or composing or researching 8 hours a day. Most of the time, my brain would reach creative capacity for the day at around 4 hours of work total. I started to feel guilty, thinking that I was lazy, and turning my vocation into an excuse to goof off. So I pushed harder, and the pressure and guilt only increased to the point where I wasn't sleeping well due to anxiety and stress. Something had to change.

I decided to experiment. I would give myself permission to have 4-hour work days. I blocked out two 2-hour chunks of time (before and after lunch) that would be dedicated to my writing projects. If I felt like working longer, I could. But if I fulfilled the 4 hours, then I would allow myself to be done with work that day.

I started this experiment two weeks ago, and the stress and guilt have gone down considerably. I find that the work I accomplish in those 4 hours is quite productive. And usually, I end up working longer, often working up to 6 hours total. Today, I found this article titled "Why you should work 4 hours a day, according to science" which gives a quick profile on renowned scientists who accomplished much in their field, and yet only worked 4 hours a day. It's a nice confirmation that I may be on the right track here. I'm in the company of people like Charles Darwin! OK, maybe not that exactly, but I'm hopeful that this new 4-hour workday can yield great creative results for me. Let's see how it goes!

UPDATE: A couple days later, I found this article titled "Use the Two-Hour Rule to Make Progress on Your Creative Projects" confirming my plan of splitting my work into two-hour chunks!