On "Balance"

Why do we say “It’s all about balance!” as if it’s just that simple? As if it’s some sort of "zen” conclusion easily won? As if balance weren’t a working of the muscles? As if balance weren’t tiring and requiring energy and focus?

Have you tried to stand on one foot for a long time? Or tried to balance a broom by its top-end in your hand? Have you seen a baby finally learning to walk? As adults, we forget that the balance to stand or walk came after hours upon hours of practice, falling, failing, and trying again.

Take 2020: the fears of a pandemic combined with social isolation, plus fights for racial equality, plus (in California at least) a freak lightning storm that leads to the state being on fire, plus the upcoming election, plus kids at home if you’re a parent, plus plus plus plus. “It’s all about balance” feels almost laughable in the face of this stack of things we are being asked to hold.

So, sure, it may all be about balance, but remember that balance is hard work. It only comes with ease after you’ve put in the time to master it. And if lately, things seem to keep toppling over, if you seem to keep toppling over, please show yourself the compassion you would a toddler just learning to walk. For we are facing a balancing act in 2020 we’ve never, ever had to face before.

Thoughts on Travel

Me at Giant’s Causeway, Northern Ireland. Not all the travel is for work. ;)

The past couple months have been a whirlwind of travel: a residency in Nebraska, a workshop in South Carolina, vacation in Northern Ireland. Next week I head to Atlanta for the TYA/USA National Festival & Conference, and next month I head to the TCG Conference in Miami. This trend of lots-o-traveling started last year, and I don’t think it’s going to stop anytime soon. Thankfully, I think I have gotten better at traveling over the past year and a half.

How do I know this? For one, I’m not getting sick (knock on wood) as frequently as I was last year. Last year, it seemed that I either started or ended each trip with some sort of cold or flu. I now believe that some of it was actually allergies. So, what’s changed this year? I started taking immunity-building vitamins. I am committed to using my netipot. I’m careful not to touch my face while in the airplane/airport, and wipe down with face wipes after each flight. I take time to stretch and breathe when I can. I try to check in with myself to know what I need and whether I might be pushing myself too much. I stay hydrated.

I also think last year, I had a very “go-go-go” mentality about it all. And this year, I’m trying to practice steadying my drive. All that needs to be accomplished will be accomplished. I don’t need to be running on all cylinders to get there. So, while the travel itinerary doesn’t seem to be thinning out anytime soon, my approach to it has shifted, helping me feel like I’m in control of my schedule, rather than the other way around.

Check out my Composer's Pad (Vlog #3)

I’m in Nebraska City for two weeks for a residency at the Kimmel Harding Nelson Center for the Arts. In my latest vlog, I give a tour of my apartment here as well as some tips about self-care and convenience while at an artists residency.

Advice for Being An Independent Artist

Earlier this week, I had the privilege of speaking at a class at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. During one portion of this talk, I gave some words of advice about making a living as an independent artist. Here they are in case they are helpful to anyone else:

1. You don't need to know everything
Artists can tend to be perfectionists, and as such, we can be very hard on ourselves when we come face-to-face with our own ignorance. We can feel this pressure that we should arrive "pre-arrived," as if there is no incubating period for coming into one's own. But this kind of thinking is counter-intuitive to the artistic process, which is often rife with not knowing. We should be curious, free, and ever in a spirit of learning. There is also much value in learning to depend on others for help. If you don't know how to make a website or manage a budget or create a production schedule, find friends or hire people who do! It's not all on you to do everything.

2. Get to know yourself
While you may not need to know everything, one thing that will help the very core of your artistry is knowing yourself. This is a lifelong journey, so I've modified the traditional "Know yourself" into "Get to know yourself." No one finishes college knowing completely who they are. And we are always evolving throughout our lifetime, so getting to know ourselves is never over. The power that comes with getting to know yourself is manyfold. You will learn what your values are. You will define success on your own terms. You will know what to say "No" to. Your voice will automatically emerge from your artistry, because your identity will be expressed without your working to make it so.

3. Think of yourself as an artist
Some people don't need this advice. They know they are artists, and always have known. But for everyone else, we often wonder if we qualify for the title "artist" (or "writer," or "dancer," or "filmmaker," etc). But at what point do you get to earn that title? When you get your degree? When you get your first commission? First production? First review? The fact is, there may always be some reason to think you aren't worthy of the title. But I think this is a classic case of "Fake it till you make it" being true. Unless you allow yourself to own the title of artist, you'll always be wondering if you're good enough, if you've made it. Think of yourself as an artist, put in the work, and one day you'll find that the title suits you just fine.

4. Think of yourself as a business
This might sound slimy, but if you want to make money with your art, you are a business. If it's any help, instead of thinking of it as selling a product, try thinking of it as meeting a need. Broadly speaking, the world needs art, music, stories. If we didn't believe that, we wouldn't be pursuing careers in the arts. So, we are here to help meet that need! I believe thinking of yourself as a business is really about protecting yourself from those who will take advantage of you. There will be people who want to take and take and take from you for free or far less than what your dignity is worth. Shoring yourself up with good business practices isn't slimy; it's self-care. Learn a bit about the legal, financial, and marketing sides of business - or find people who are good at those things and hire them to help you run your business. When those things are in order, you will be freed up to pursue your artistic whim without worry.

Creativity Quotation #23

"Once again the only thing that mattered was the work, except now he realized that the work was him. There is no separating yourself from the things you make, he thought. If you are a cesspool, what else can your work be except shit?" - Noah Hawley, Before the Fall