Don't Take Your Story Too Seriously

While working on getting my certification as a creativity coach, I’ve been reading The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander & Benjamin Zander. In a chapter based around the idea of not taking yourself too seriously, an anecdote is shared that had this sentence: “She stopped taking herself and her story so seriously…” The inclusion of “story” stood out to me. I have heard many times not to take myself too seriously. But reading about not taking one’s story too seriously hit me in a more nuanced way.

First off, this is not to say that you should dismiss your story, whether it be your life story or the stories inside you bursting to be expressed. What I took from this phrase has more to do with the stories we tell ourselves that stop us from taking risks, going on adventures, chasing after the things we desire. Stories like “I’m too old,” or “I don’t have enough training,” or “I’m just not like that,” or “I’ve been too hurt by my past.” Each of these stories might hold truth, and there is something to accepting some of these realities. But each of these truths can then be weaponized against ourselves and our dreams. We can start to limit ourselves, turn down offers, delay getting started, because of the story we tell ourselves about any given situation.

But what if we realized that these stories are just that? Stories. And specifically, stories that we are telling ourselves. What if there was a different way to narrate that story? What if there is more to the story? “I’m too old” can become “I have experience that is an advantage over younger folks.” “I don’t have enough training” can become “I’m going to sign up for a class today!” “I’m just not like that” can become “My identity is plastic, so maybe there’s room for me to change here.” “I’ve been too hurt by my past” can become “And I can take a first step to healing, however small.”

Moving forward, I want to be mindful not just of the times when I’m taking myself too seriously, but also when I’m giving more credence to the stories I tell myself than they are due. Questioning my own stories could be the key I need to break free from stagnation and actually dare to push myself towards my desires and dream life.

Life in Limbo

Chop wood, carry water…

With Broadway and regional theatre companies starting to open up again, there does seem to be some more hope in the air (even in the midst of the still-terrible news cycle). However, for many artists including myself, this can make the desire to get back in the game even more excruciating. A lot of us are simply waiting for the gigs to pop up again, and any gig not gained can smart even more pointedly than before. We’re still living life in limbo.

So, how does one cope? Honestly, it’s hard. There’s no way around that. But an Eastern proverb keeps coming to my mind lately: “Before Enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After Enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.” I may be a bit free in my interpretation of the proverb, but I read it as the work is always the same. I still have shows to write and songs to compose, whether the activity in the world around me is buzzing with new life or not. And as difficult as it is to sit myself down and write, that’s my job, that’s my work.

Creativity Quotation #37

“Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.” - Agnes de Mille

Creativity Quotation #36

“Creative thoughts evolve in this gap filled with tension—holding onto what is known and accepted while tending toward a still ill-defined truth that is barely glimpsed on the other side of the chasm.” - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Creativity: The Psychology of Discovery and Invention

That Unattainable Expanse

Lately I find myself imagining a future when I will have more time. More time for research, for reading, for creative exploration, for taking classes, for playing video games. But I actually wonder if these are all fantasies that will never be realized. July and August were supposed to be months that were more freed up, more flexible. And while July started that way, within about a week or two, tasks arose that seemed to take over my schedule. Sometimes these were planned tasks that took longer than I had expected. Or they were completely out-of-the-blue tasks that suddenly needed my full attention. And if I’m honest, I don’t see it stopping anytime soon.

That said, I was able to carve out time for a week-long vacation in August. So I’m not saying that I will never have time off. But there’s this idea that someday I will have a very freed up and flexible calendar that I will get to waft through, selecting whatever my heart fancies to focus on. This idea may not be real.

What is real, however, is that I do get pockets of time to wander. I might have 30 minutes one evening where I can read without falling asleep. Or find myself with the time, mindframe, and a sudden urge to take 15 minutes to watch educational videos. Or listen to music. Or play a bit of a video game. I think I need to get used to the idea that instead of an unrealistic vast expanse, my creative explorations will more often than not take the form of “an hour here, an hour there.” But just like the doctors say your weekly 150 minutes of exercise can occur at any time during the week and at any interval - I think this piecemeal exploration ultimately adds up to the expansive version in my head. At least, I hope it does?

Red Rock Canyon. Another kind of vast expanse.